Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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