its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
