He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
