yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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