shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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