But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
