I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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