I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
