do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
