he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
