seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
