just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
a search helicopter?!
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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