i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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