oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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