i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
