You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
