you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
