Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
