So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
