His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
