Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
