Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize