I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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