And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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