We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
