No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
