ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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