Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We were destined to go to rehab together
Randomize
