I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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