yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
