I must be too annoying 4 u.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
