We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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