i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
