I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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