do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
