who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
