i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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