I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
