I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
