if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
