Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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