it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
