Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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