i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
