We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Every concussion has its silver lining
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
