check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
