I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
