I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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