I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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