after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
