Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
