He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
there is glitter all over my balls
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
