...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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