Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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