The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Is it penis luge time yet?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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