I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
4 words: hood of his car
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
