Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
