hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
