Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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