FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
