I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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