so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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